The Other Night

Well, things are quite.... WOW for me at the moment. The other night me and Joel went to Primal for the potluck dinner, which was really good. I caught up with Laura and Jordan who I havn't seen in ages, and they met Joel and it was all really great. Everyone seemed to accept him and chatted to him and he really enjoyed the evening, except for one minor/major incident where someone told us that 'God hates Fags' which really pissed me off.

The next day, mum and dad went off to Taupo for the night, so Yonny and Laura came over and played Crash for a couple of hours which was real cool. After they left I went and hired some DVD's so I wouldnt get bored.. amongst the endless cricket. Didnt really end up watching any of the movie coz Joel came around and we ended up .... well yeah.
We had a really good night, which ended up with me telling him that I am falling in love with him. He said it back too.

Soo that was what happened the other night. I am not sure where that leaves us now. He just told me that him and his friends up in Hamilton have found a house to flat in and that they have already started paying rent over the summer. What am I suppose to do??
If we keep going on like this then I am going to really be in love with him.. a lot, but the time he goes to leave.
We have discussed the possibilty of him staying here, and he said that he would make a decision on that after New Years... but I don't see any chance of him staying in Napier.
We also talked about moving to Wellington in the future so that we can both study at Vic, but I am not so sure with how good things are going with my friends and at Primal lately. I am really enjoying it all and it makes me feel like I have a purpose.

There have been other offers, especially from an ex, but so far I have turned them down. They are all just for those one off shags that u tend to avoid... I am sick of people who just think about sex. Althought I must admit I have thought about things.... that arent good. After I told Joel that I am falling in love with him, I had a dream that night about my ex.... not good. I think its quite obvious that I still have feelings for him but I don't know how to act on those.

What does God think? I was reading up on what the bible says about homosexuality, and it states that every sin is equal to another... whether you lie, steal, murder, are gay... every sin IS equal. We all fall short of the glory of God, but if we accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour then we will be saved. We will be judged, and we WILL kneel before the throne of God on the day that he decides and he will ask us, what did you do with My Son.

Thats just some of the things going thru my mind.
Hmmmmm????? Josh's life is always confusing it seems. Never a simple day, never always happy.
Bahh life is like that and im happy with what I have at the moment. Just not all the shitt stuff lol